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Arlene, I have a friend who I loved for a long time.
TL: Expect some wrong grammars, my eyes are blurred because of tears T_T
In 16 years, I was a freshman in senior high school.
The first time I saw him was in the dance room. I came to No. 1 middle school as a dancer.
I saw him smoking in a small corner at the door of the dance room. It was estimated that it was the first time to smoke. The smoke was swirling and I coughed.
I laughed. He stared at me. It was the first time I met Lin.
Later, I saw him again because I skipped class and hit him directly against the low wall at the back door of the school.
He talked about bad luck. I stared at him unconvinced. In this way, we became friends.
In my sophomore year of senior high school, my mother suddenly came back and asked me to go with her. Ever since my parent’s divorce years ago, I never saw her again.
My rebellious heart became more and more serious. During that time, I talked more and more with Lin. he took me out to play most of the time.
We went to see the fireworks at 12 a.m. and the cherry blossoms in a whole cherry forest. He always likes to throw the cherry petals on my head.
There is a sea near Zhejiang. The two of us secretly took our ID cards and went out to see the sea all night. The sea breeze is a little cool on the body, and the silence around me in the early morning and evening is outrageous.
He asked me, “What do you want to do in the future?” I couldn’t say anything. My life is terrible. I don’t know where or how far it will be in the future.
I told Lin that since I was a child, I was not liked by many people. My parents divorced when I was seven years old, and then reorganized my family for half a year. My stepmother was the culprit who broke up my family, and her son was loved by the whole family. No one loves me except my grandmother.
I looked at my father’s loving eyes for his son, and the eyes guarding against whether I would be bad for his son.
Both my parents had their own families.
I was brought up by my grandmother when I was a child. Many people didn’t say I was a wild child without a father and mother.
Lin didn’t speak. The waves around him were loud and windy.
I said to him, “You know, when I see the sea, I want to jump. I don’t want to live.”
I can’t afford my dance class for a long time. I told my grandmother that I don’t like dancing, so we don’t have to worry about the money for dancing.
That night when he heard what I said, he lowered his head and closed his eyes, but I saw that his eyes were red, his voice trembled, and his voice choked: “Arlene, you are ill.”
In the darkness of that night, we looked at each other speechless through the moonlight. I had already burst into tears, and none of him was spared.
In those days, Lin was my only spiritual pillar.
Close to the third year of senior high school, because my grandmother fell ill, I finally couldn’t bear to continue to drag her down. This is clearly the age at which she should have been provided for the elderly and lived a good life.
I know she doesn’t think I’m a burden, but I, myself, think that I am.
I plan to go with my mother after the college entrance examination. In this way, she will bear the tuition and living expenses of my school, and I can continue to learn dance.
But even then, my health is still not good, even worse.
There are endless scars on my hand. He always silently drugged me and said to himself that everything will be fine.
Lin, it won’t be all right. I’ll never get better.
In my junior year of high school, I had an accident during the performance. I was pushed down the stairs by a dancer girl in the next class, rolled on the stairs, and fell half to death.
I sobbed in pain, but I really wanted to die.
People piled up around me. I struggled to open my eyes. He picked me up and I fell into a warm embrace. At that moment, my nose was sour and I wanted to cry.
He said, “Don’t die.”
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